Counselling Vs Advice-giving.
Counselling is not Advising and giving Advice is not Counselling!
Advising and counselling are two very different things. Giving advice is letting people know what you think is best for them, while counselling is allowing people to explore and decide what is best for them.
As human beings, we rely heavily on other people’s opinions and we trust ourselves very little, thus when in distress, We unwittingly ask those that care for us to help us resolve our issues or provide us with solutions.
People get caught in the cycle of asking for advice and depending on others, and when things fail, escaping responsibility.
Counselling is an opportunity for you to re-establish that trust in yourself and follow your path forward.
A counsellor offers unconditional positive regard, is non-judgemental, compassionate and pretty much holds a mirror to the client’s mind. And just as a mirror doesn’t tell the person how good or bad they are looking and just reflects the reality, likewise the counsellor does the same.
Telling clients what to do can handicap them. Parents of teenagers don’t always tell their kids exactly what to do. Although sometimes parents need to tell their teens what they need to do, at other times, they should simply guide kids to make the right choices.
This helps them mature so that when they enter adulthood, they won’t expect to be rescued when they make bad decisions. Likewise, wise counsellor allows their clients to make their own choices, which empowers them to feel more confident in making future decisions.
What does counselling involve then?
Though there may be a time and place for advice based on the counsellor’s style and therapeutic judgement, the standard belief of counsellors is that advice is not appropriate.
So, now that you have a deeper understanding of what counsellors don’t do on this matter, let’s look at what counsellors do instead:
- Provide a safe environment to process situations and emotions
- Offer support when clients need to make difficult decisions
- Assist clients in exploring the various choices available
- Empower clients to trust in their decision-making skills
- Help guide clients through a self-discovery process
- Weigh the possible impacts of certain decisions
- Set treatment goals related to increasing autonomy and decisiveness
- Explore and uncover the client’s motivations, values and desires
- Introduce skills and tools for a client to utilize outside of the session
- Operate on the belief that clients know what is best for their lives
Having known all the above, we believe that when you come for your next sessions, you’ll be ready not to find an instant solution, but a path to follow.
At the Kenya Institute of professional counselling, you learn that a counsellor is not going to judge or criticize you. Instead, they will encourage you to speak freely and extend unconditional acceptance of who you are.
